Full disclosure: I asked for permission to share this story prior to publishing.
I have decided to return to my “Spunktional Living” blog days from back in 2019. It is here in The Decade Chronicles section of The Wicked Pissah where I share a glimpse into the heart and mind of some folks (family and friends—old and new) of every decade of life. There is always something to learn from those who came before or after us.
For the full story of the Decade Chronicles inspiration, you can read my hobbit story here.
Now, let’s get chronicling.
Your name? Todd Cash Alofs II
Your age? 26
Your current line of work? Graduated nursing school, awaiting board certification by exam.
What is your passion (if outside of work)? I have always said that if I am able to make a positive impact on almost every person that I am able to cross paths with, then I will be content.
Your favorite word? Fiddlefart. Because I like to putz around.
What do you admire most about yourself? My ability to critique myself and positively change what I think will benefit both myself and those around me.
What is your earliest memory? Though there are so many, one of my happiest memories comes from my time spent with my nana. It has to have been almost 20 years since my sister and I have been to the St. James Residence (Nana’s apartment complex), yet I can still remember my mom signing us in at the front desk, while my sister and I got sodas from the old school vending machine or watched the other residents put a puzzle together in the recreation room. I can still remember riding the elevator up to the 14th floor and noticing the buttons went from 12 straight to 14. I always found that funny that there was no 13 but Nana had told me that number was bad luck so I was glad she lived “one floor up.” The real memories took place inside that little one bedroom apartment on the 14th floor. Cutting up potatoes and making real, fresh French fries or eating Danish sugar cookies off of her little table. Watching the House of Wax and Jaws (which I was not allowed to watch) and staying up as late as I wanted. I can still hear her say, “There are no rules at Nana’s.” Though Nana moved and we were able to form other memories elsewhere, I will always remember the times that I shared with her in that apartment on the 14th floor.
Your most impactful memory, positive or otherwise? My most impactful memory would have to be the day I met the love and my life and how I knew right away that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. NOTE: For those who are not friends or family, Cash and his girlfriend, Bailey, have been together since they were not yet 16…they are now both 26.
Best advice for your 21 year old self. Always be yourself and do not compare yourself to others. Be your own person.
Best advice going forward. Slow down and just enjoy the moment in front of you.
My divorce was final in December of 2010.
A few years back, I borrowed five dollars from my son for the valet—as per usual, I was not carrying cash with me—and would repay him when we returned home. While he was showering, I noticed his wallet lying on the counter. I opened the wallet to slip a $5 bill inside when I noticed the picture in the billfold…
My wedding picture from 1996.
I froze. An overwhelming rush of emotion swept over me from head to toe, initially, because I had not seen the picture in years and the memories came rushing back to that day. But more so, not because of the fact that he was carrying the picture with him at all, but because I wasn’t sure why. While I understand it is none of my business to begin with, I, nonetheless, had this newfound information swirling in my mom brain and heart and I couldn’t unknow it. I kept asking myself…
Was he hoping for a reconciliation?
I did not, in the moment, ask him about the picture. I waited, processing and bracing myself for his answer. I eventually brought it to his attention.
As for him hoping for a reconciliation, the answer was no. He accepts that the marriage is part of the past. He carries the picture with him because, as he says, “it is nice to look at from time to time.”
When Cash told me he would participate in my questionnaire, I thought about how I would introduce him and what I would want someone to understand or learn from him outside his answers to my questions. I could spend an insane amount of time writing about all the things I love and appreciate about Cash, but I don’t believe I need to do so. I feel the story of the picture in his wallet has, by now, already painted a thousand words.
Thank you for being here.
xo Char